Previously, in this series I’ve posted about the fact that Saul was crippled by insecurities.  God told him he was gonna be king.  Saul didn’t believe God.  In fact he hid.  And when scoundrels criticized Saul’s ability, I think seeds of doubt started imbedding themselves deep within Saul’s heart– seeds that would reappear later in life.

But this passage. . .

This passage is one of triumph and hope for Saul.

It’s a very simple story.  The Ammonites had conquered an Israeli city and threatened to gouge the right eyes out of all of it’s inhabitants.  So the people of the city sent a message to Saul begging him to rescue them.  They needed a hero.  And when Saul heard that message, the Bible says

The Spirit of God came on him in power, and he burned with anger (1 Sam. 11:6).

In case you’re unaware, when someone threatens to gouge the eyes of your countrymen, that’s an appropriate moment to BE ANGRY.  It’s OK to be little irritated by that.  And Saul’s the king!  It’s his job to protect his people!

So Saul gathered his forces.  He mustered some hard, pipe hittin’ dudes, “opened a can” on the Ammonites, slaughtering them “until the heat of the day.”  And after that, the people were convinced that Saul would make a swell king, and so they renewed his kingship. (vv. 14-15)  It was a nice moment in Saul’s reign as king.

This was a moment when Saul responded appropriately, did his job, and acted with courage.  Yet, as we’ve seen in this series, and as we’ll see in many more instances over the next several years of his reign, Saul often struggled with confidence and often acted as a poor leader.  So what makes this moment and this story different?

Two concepts stick out to me:

First, Saul was no longer crippled by fear.  When Saul was first chosen as king, he hid.  Why did he hide?  Because he was afraid.  Of what, we don’t know.  Maybe it was a fear of failure, a fear of leadership, a fear of rejection, a fear of his future . . . Whatever it was, he was cripplingly afraid.  But when Saul received his first kingly task to defend one of his cities in 1 Samuel 11, something miraculous happened.  The Spirit of the Lord came on him, and fear turned into anger.

Fear turned into anger.

Now, that might not seem like a good emotional substitution, but remember that healthy, appropriate anger was a feeling that was noticeably absent from the early chapters of Saul’s story.  When scoundrels mocked Saul, and suggested that he wasn’t good enough to be king, Saul was silent (10:27).

He didn’t get angry.

He should have been angry.

That’s what kings do . . . but he didn’t.

This time . . . SAUL GOT TICKED!

And the text says “the terror of the Lord fell on the people” (v. 7).  It wasn’t Saul who was afraid anymore.  In this story, it was the people who were terrified.  They had this reverent, respectful, fear of their leader, lord, and king.

So Saul’s fear got transformed by the Spirit into a healthy anger (a holy discontent).  And that led to appropriate action . . .  That’s the first thing.

Second, Saul found his confidence in a source that went much deeper than himself.  After Saul conquered the Ammonites and the people rallied around him, they suggested putting Saul’s detractors to death.  They doubted Saul’s leadership.  They should be punished.  But Saul said:

No one will be put to death today, for this day the Lord has rescued Israel. (11:13).

He doesn’t credit himself for the victory.  No victory dances in the end-zone.  Saul says “the Lord” rescued Israel.  God gets the credit.  Ironically, Saul is more confident and secure in this moment than he’ll be at any other point in his life.  And this confidence doesn’t come from his own abilities, talent, good looks, money, or popularity.  His confidence comes from God, and what HE did.

God rescued Israel.  God delivered the victory.

I think these two ideas may offer significant help when it comes to the subject of insecurities.  Our insecurities are those little voices that tell us “You’re not good enough.  You’re not smart enough.  You’re not attractive enough.  You’re not rich enough.  You’re not successful enough.”  And our natural reaction is to take a long look in the mirror like Richard Smalley and say,

I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggon it . . . people like me !

And if we do that enough, maybe we’ll start convincing ourselves that it’s true.  But I think Saul’s story kinda flips that thinking on it’s head.

Really, the secret to confidence is saying

God is good enough.

God is wise enough

God is strong enough.

And I know God’s in my corner.

Saul got confident when he let the Spirit of the Lord come on him in power.  And that’s when Saul’s fear left him.  That’s what happens when we’re confident in God’s confidence in us.  Our fear goes away, and our confidence gets grounded in something firm.  It’s like 1 John 4:18 when John says

Perfect love drives out fear.

Or 2 Cor. 10:17-18:

Let those who boast, boast in the Lord.  For it is not those who commend themselves who are approved, but those whom the Lord commends.

And that to me, is the bedrock truth behind the subject of insecurities.  If I’m completely honest during my most vulnerable moment, do I really believe God’s in my corner?

See, when I wrestle with a sensitive area of confidence in my life, there’s a peice of me that imagines God sitting in heaven saying, “Gee Dave.  Why don’t you shape up?  What’s the matter with you?”

I KNOW it’s not true.  But I don’t always KNOW it’s true . . . know what I mean?

And that’s when my confidence starts to shatter.  If I could be convinced like Saul was in this moment, that God was really pulling for me in everything I did, and he had my back, and he was empowering me, and transforming me, and giving me wisdom, and giving me grace, and showering me with love, I would never be insecure about anything!

God’s perfect love drives out fear!  It drives all that fear away.  I’d always be ready to storm that hill.  And sometimes, I do believe that . . . and other times, I slip back into the same routine of self-doubt to which Saul falls as well.